There is this constant feeling of not fitting in. Of disassociation. It takes monumental effort to speak. To get me to come out of the corner I have been hiding in my whole life. Then after all the work to reach me I’m gone in a fraction of a second.
Terrified of being noticed or exposed or heard. Ashamed of anything I said or shared.
Why am I still so afraid?
I have nothing to hide anymore.
Continue reading “Today”
Approximately 1 in 6 men and 1 in 4 to 5 women will be sexually abused before the age of 18. 1,2 Too often, their stories are silenced – by shame, guilt, fear.
Just as the experiences of abuse vary greatly from person to person, so do the outcomes. While some individuals experience no long-term effects from their experiences, others struggle with a host of lifelong challenges ranging from mental and emotional health to various physical health issues.
Continue reading “Take the Childhood Abuse and Sexual Trauma (CAST) Survey”
Approximately 1 in 6 men and 1 in 4 to 5 women will be sexually abused before the age of 18. 1,2 Too often, their stories are silenced – by shame, guilt, fear. In fact, 70% of childhood sexual abuse victims never tell anyone.3,4 For others, telling someone about the abuse they experienced caused more pain; their stories were not believed or perhaps they were blamed for an imagined role in the abuse.
“I was conditioned to feel that I needed to keep carrying the baggage silently. Made to feel that I somehow earned and deserved it.” – Shana Shippee
Continue reading “We believe in the healing power of stories”
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
I am still getting used to writing those words.
Admitting to my past and sharing my story has led to multiple moments of what I can only describe as tiny fracture breaks within what I thought was my semi stable reality. I thought I was doing okay. I saw no reason to reopen those old, pulsating wounds. I felt they had been stitched up adequately enough.
Continue reading “How Sweet the Sound”
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse
Today I sit constricted
My waistband tied too tight
Until I sat down I had not noticed it
Digging into the forgotten flesh
Just below my belly button
But this time
I do not allow myself to fix it
I decide instead to feel it
An irritation around my middle
I hate this
I have always hated this
Continue reading “My Middle Way”