Survivor Stories

The Gravity Network team shares personal stories of life after childhood sexual abuse (CSA)

The Void

Originally published April 4, 2018 “It is not easy to stay conscious during a painful and frightening process. We would rather turn away, drug ourselves, or feign indifference. It requires a delicate blend of curiosity, fortitude, and patience to trust in the wisdom and the purpose of pain.” ~ Elizabeth Lesser I would like to …

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Dating

So last month, I found myself single again. In a way, it sucks, because breakups always do. But this was my first relationship in a really long time. For years I avoided them, telling my family that I was just focused on school, or I was living somewhere temporarily so it just didn’t make sense.  …

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Today

There is this constant feeling of not fitting in. Of disassociation. It takes monumental effort to speak. To get me to come out of the corner I have been hiding in my whole life. Then after all the work to reach me I’m gone in a fraction of a second. Terrified of being noticed or exposed …

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My Middle Way

Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Today I sit constrictedMy waistband tied too tightUntil I sat down I had not noticed itDigging into the forgotten fleshJust below my belly buttonBut this timeI do not allow myself to fix itI decide instead to feel itAn irritation around my middleI hate thisI have always hated …

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My Toolbox

By Anthony Carrone In my last article, I mentioned the tools I try to use every day to continue coping with my memories of sexual abuse. For me, coping is a never-ending process. Unfortunately, my tools don’t make the memories go away, but I can’t think of a healthy alternative that does. Like many tool …

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Yes, I am angry…but YOU are dangerous.

Trauma and Meditation: An Open Letter to the Community Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Dear “Awakened” Communities, Yes I mean YOU, Buddhist and Non-Buddhist alike. I am angry with you. Yes angry, oops am I not supposed to be angry? Well buckle up, you may not like this ride, or …

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Ivy

Last month, I traveled outside of the country for the first time. I was so excited. I have always wanted to travel, explore somewhere new, and I was finally given that chance. We went to Germany, for a wedding, right outside of Munich. It was a beautiful country, honestly, and I had a wonderful time. …

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