Stories

Stories: My Anguish Was My Healer
I was a survivor of CSA. Now I am healing back to ME - Who I was suppose to before two malignant narcs or dark triad parents did their vile evil work on me during my developing years. Their evil mental illnesses caused me despair and suffering, and has caused the next generation to suffer too.Read More
Stories: Here’s a Story About a Young Girl
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Here's a story about a young girl It's traumatic and tragic If you are easily triggered with child rape child abuse and domestic violence please don't read any further There was a little girl who lived with her mother and two siblings The mom was an ok mom even though drugs and alcohol ran her life One day when she was about 5 her mom came to the 3 kids and told them someone new was moving in The kids especially the little girl was estatic at the prospect of…Read More
Stories: I thought fighting to stay alive was normal
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse When I got in my teens, I had these weird flash backs, of someone on top of me, I couldn't breath. I saw myself floating above me. I thought I was dreaming, I heard my mom, call my dad's name, I looked over towards her, then my dad yelled go back to bed, I then realized the horror, my dad was on top of me, I felt the pain, I was back in my body, I was told keep my mouth shut and don't tell anyone or I'd get an…Read More
My Toolbox
By Anthony Carrone In my last article, I mentioned the tools I try to use every day to continue coping with my memories of sexual abuse. For me, coping is a never-ending process. Unfortunately, my tools don’t make the memories go away, but I can’t think of a healthy alternative that does. Like many tool boxes, the tools in my box were acquired over time. I don’t use all of my tools every day, and sometimes I need WD-40 to get them working correctly, but knowing I have a set to use is helpful in its own way. My toolbox:…Read More
I am not healed…and that’s ok
By April M.D. Resnik 12/9/18   How many times have I said these words to people, “You are never fully healed from sexual trauma. It never goes away. Your brain has been changed, and the biological change is not something that can be undone. But, you work with it and integrate it, mitigate the symptoms, and learn to live, hopefully well, with it.” I thought I believed this, I really and truly did. I thought I was living that. How arrogant and wrong I was. Because somewhere deep in my internal recesses, my unconscious had bought the curative hype. Some…Read More
Stories: A Fresh Start
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse I was young, too young, to know what my two brothers were wanting me to do, like suck on my cousin's penis and who knows who else...I blocked it out. Later in life, after my cousin lived elsewhere, my aunt/uncle lived in the house that this took place in. I babysat their kids and now know why I never wanted to stay overnight; my uncle would drive me back into town. There were more instances of sexual abuse although more subtle, like my oldest brother putting his hands in my…Read More
How is there not a way to protect children from other children?
Originally published 1/14/2019 Five short weeks after my honeymoon, my then 6 year old made a disclosure that would change our entire forward trajectory. My stepson (9) had shared with him that he had been sodomized by my older stepson (13). Shortly following that disclosure, we found out that my son had also been sodomized by my 9 year old stepson. Immediate separation followed, my son was diagnosed with severe ptsd, and he’s been in weekly therapy for 7 months. My ex was enraged from the getgo that I reported this to child welfare and police. We all know sex…Read More
I was counting on her
This is my story. Today I am 31. Up until the abuse started I had a great relationship with my parents. I was attached to my mom. I was called a daddy’s girl, I have 1 brother which is 3 years older than me. We lived in small country towns. Which was how my whole family lived. I feel that my brother was never really there for me which I could of used, specialy since he had too been sexualy assaulted, but doesn’t talk about it. Very sad story there. Now theis days we are distant to each other. I felt…Read More
Killing the Pain
My grandmother told me once, “I just don’t understand why you are so hell bent on destroying yourself.” I wasn’t either. I didn’t know why I would drink myself to oblivion, keep company with every abusive asshole that ever entered my path, ran around on empty, punishing myself. I thought I hated myself. I thought I hated myself but I didn’t know why I did. There was something in me that I was trying so hard to destroy and from the outside looking in, it did look like I was trying to destroy myself. The voice that told me I…Read More
Getting better is my main focus
First abuse – I was barely 3 years old….a foster home with I don’t even remember how many boys. I was barely 20 and a mom of twins. One child was epileptic and both had learning issues. My family wasn’t as supportive as they could be, and I was pregnant again. Only there’s a slight change this time – I might not be sure of the father, only because I was no longer compliant for sexual exploitation anymore. So he would take the instant gratification and go. I literally dreamed of her and knew all about her. Even before they…Read More

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