Stories

There is beauty in healing
There is beauty in healing, broken inner parts (dissociation) from surviving. I resonate with the art of 'kintsugi. This concept is an old Japanese philosophy'repairing pottery by golden joinery' The Impact We can mind our broken parts and our sadness, making them emblems of resilience, the passage of time, and the inevitability of change and transformation!! Like the Phoenix from the ashes, butterfly from a cocoon. Repairing our history we become more beautiful than before, it's our karma. What I Want Others to Know Bringing 'Kintsugi' to mind,our cracks and scars can be made into patterns of golden rivers.you become…Read More
It Never Crossed My Mind the ‘Aunt’ Would Lie…And Be Believed
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Originally published June 2, 2018 I was seven or so the first time I was left alone with my ‘aunt’. We lived across the street and the family was a big part of our lives. The parting nasty reminder to ‘mind your aunt !’ …. I took that seriously, because of the physical and verbal violence that ensued whenever we were ‘bad’. We were bad a lot! I was told to undress and get in the bathtub…posed and told what to say…naked and afraid if I didn’t do what she…Read More
Stories: Here’s a Story About a Young Girl
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Here's a story about a young girl It's traumatic and tragic If you are easily triggered with child rape child abuse and domestic violence please don't read any further There was a little girl who lived with her mother and two siblings The mom was an ok mom even though drugs and alcohol ran her life One day when she was about 5 her mom came to the 3 kids and told them someone new was moving in The kids especially the little girl was estatic at the prospect of…Read More
Stories: A Fresh Start
Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse I was young, too young, to know what my two brothers were wanting me to do, like suck on my cousin's penis and who knows who else...I blocked it out. Later in life, after my cousin lived elsewhere, my aunt/uncle lived in the house that this took place in. I babysat their kids and now know why I never wanted to stay overnight; my uncle would drive me back into town. There were more instances of sexual abuse although more subtle, like my oldest brother putting his hands in my…Read More
Stories: My Anguish Was My Healer
I was a survivor of CSA. Now I am healing back to ME - Who I was suppose to before two malignant narcs or dark triad parents did their vile evil work on me during my developing years. Their evil mental illnesses caused me despair and suffering, and has caused the next generation to suffer too.Read More
I am a 73 year old male
I am a 73 year old male. I discovered my abuse in my late 60's after 3 years of therapy I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. It was quite an ordeal to recover these memories. I was abused by my mother and male friends of my family, my male grade school principal. The abuse happened from when I was approximately 4 or 5 until I was 12. Both my mother and father denied this was happening during those years. This denial and punishment did as much damage as the actual abuse.   The Impact  Although I have a very…Read More
My Toolbox
By Anthony Carrone In my last article, I mentioned the tools I try to use every day to continue coping with my memories of sexual abuse. For me, coping is a never-ending process. Unfortunately, my tools don’t make the memories go away, but I can’t think of a healthy alternative that does. Like many tool boxes, the tools in my box were acquired over time. I don’t use all of my tools every day, and sometimes I need WD-40 to get them working correctly, but knowing I have a set to use is helpful in its own way. My toolbox:…Read More
I am not healed…and that’s ok
By April M.D. Resnik 12/9/18   How many times have I said these words to people, “You are never fully healed from sexual trauma. It never goes away. Your brain has been changed, and the biological change is not something that can be undone. But, you work with it and integrate it, mitigate the symptoms, and learn to live, hopefully well, with it.” I thought I believed this, I really and truly did. I thought I was living that. How arrogant and wrong I was. Because somewhere deep in my internal recesses, my unconscious had bought the curative hype. Some…Read More
Stories: I was counting on her
This is my story. Today I am 31. Up until the abuse started I had a great relationship with my parents. I was attached to my mom. I was called a daddy's girl, I have 1 brother which is 3 years older than me. We lived in small country towns. Which was how my whole family lived. I feel that my brother was never really there for me which I could of used, specialy since he had too been sexualy assaulted, but doesn't talk about it. Very sad story there. Now theis days we are distant to each other.Read More
Stories: Killing the Pain
My grandmother told me once, “I just don’t understand why you are so hell bent on destroying yourself.” I wasn’t either. I didn’t know why I would drink myself to oblivion, keep company with every abusive asshole that ever entered my path, ran around on empty, punishing myself. I thought I hated myself. I thought I hated myself but I didn’t know why I did. There was something in me that I was trying so hard to destroy and from the outside looking in, it did look like I was trying to destroy myself.Read More

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