Stories

My grandmother told me once, “I just don’t understand why you are so hell bent on destroying yourself.” I wasn’t either. I didn’t know why I would drink myself to oblivion, keep company with every abusive asshole that ever entered my path, ran around on empty, punishing myself. I thought I hated myself. I thought I hated myself but I didn’t know why I did. There was something in me that I was trying so hard to destroy and from the outside looking in, it did look like I was trying to destroy myself.Read More

First abuse – I was barely 3 years old….a foster home with I don’t even remember how many boys. I was barely 20 and a mom of twins. One child was epileptic and both had learning issues. My family wasn’t as supportive as they could be, and I was pregnant again. Only there’s a slight change this time – I might not be sure of the father, only because I was no longer compliant for sexual exploitation anymore. So he would take the instant gratification and go. I literally dreamed of her and knew all about her. Even before they…Read More

I had buried the memory of the incident. It only came rushing back into my mind when someone sent a Facebook suggestion that I be his friend. My immediate visceral response was an unequivocal NO. I reached out to a trusted friend – someone who I had gone through life coach training with and who I knew it was safe to be vulnerable with. I told her my story of when I was about 7 and said, “He molested me, or, well, he touched me inappropriately.” She kindly and firmly told me, “That is molestation.” I’m glad she brought my…Read More

There is beauty in healing, broken inner parts (dissociation) from surviving. I resonate with the art of 'kintsugi. This concept is an old Japanese philosophy'repairing pottery by golden joinery' The Impact We can mind our broken parts and our sadness, making them emblems of resilience, the passage of time, and the inevitability of change and transformation!! Like the Phoenix from the ashes, butterfly from a cocoon. Repairing our history we become more beautiful than before, it's our karma. What I Want Others to Know Bringing 'Kintsugi' to mind,our cracks and scars can be made into patterns of golden rivers.you become…Read More

Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Originally published June 2, 2018 I was seven or so the first time I was left alone with my ‘aunt’. We lived across the street and the family was a big part of our lives. The parting nasty reminder to ‘mind your aunt !’ …. I took that seriously, because of the physical and verbal violence that ensued whenever we were ‘bad’. We were bad a lot! I was told to undress and get in the bathtub…posed and told what to say…naked and afraid if I didn’t do what she…Read More

Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse Here's a story about a young girl It's traumatic and tragic If you are easily triggered with child rape child abuse and domestic violence please don't read any further There was a little girl who lived with her mother and two siblings The mom was an ok mom even though drugs and alcohol ran her life One day when she was about 5 her mom came to the 3 kids and told them someone new was moving in The kids especially the little girl was estatic at the prospect of…Read More

Warning: May contain triggers for survivors of childhood sexual abuse I was young, too young, to know what my two brothers were wanting me to do, like suck on my cousin's penis and who knows who else...I blocked it out. Later in life, after my cousin lived elsewhere, my aunt/uncle lived in the house that this took place in. I babysat their kids and now know why I never wanted to stay overnight; my uncle would drive me back into town. There were more instances of sexual abuse although more subtle, like my oldest brother putting his hands in my…Read More

I was a survivor of CSA. Now I am healing back to ME - Who I was suppose to before two malignant narcs or dark triad parents did their vile evil work on me during my developing years. Their evil mental illnesses caused me despair and suffering, and has caused the next generation to suffer too.Read More

I am a 73 year old male. I discovered my abuse in my late 60's after 3 years of therapy I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. It was quite an ordeal to recover these memories. I was abused by my mother and male friends of my family, my male grade school principal. The abuse happened from when I was approximately 4 or 5 until I was 12. Both my mother and father denied this was happening during those years. This denial and punishment did as much damage as the actual abuse.   The Impact  Although I have a very…Read More

Originally published 1/14/2019 Five short weeks after my honeymoon, my then 6 year old made a disclosure that would change our entire forward trajectory. My stepson (9) had shared with him that he had been sodomized by my older stepson (13). Shortly following that disclosure, we found out that my son had also been sodomized by my 9 year old stepson. Immediate separation followed, my son was diagnosed with severe ptsd, and he’s been in weekly therapy for 7 months. My ex was enraged from the getgo that I reported this to child welfare and police. We all know sex…Read More